No One Likes A Third Wheel
by CJS51703
Summary: Alphys had honestly hoped that her and Undyne's dates wouldn't be interrupted. But that's what a certain robot friend seems to be just right for.
1. Chapter 1

*****Yeah, I probably have couple more multi-chapter stories that I can balance out. But whatever, I'll do my very best. Anyways, Alphys, Undyne, and Mettaton belong to Toby Fox, the story plot belongs to me, and let's get going!**

 **Chapter One: A Helping Hand**

Even after moving to the surface, Mettaton EX still lived with Alphys. But because he was doing that, he also had to live with Undyne. Needless to say, that made things a bit rocky.

What kept Mettaton and Undyne from killing each other was simple fact: if one of them got hurt, then Alphys would be upset. So they kept away from violence and stuck to verbal assault.

Alphys tried to keep the peace. Her main method was that she had designated her and Undyne's shared room on the opposite end of the hallway from Mettaton's room. Something that Mettaton and Undyne wholeheartedly agreed to. So, they stayed in their corners, Alphys switched back and forth between her girlfriend and best friend, and things went well.

Mostly.

That was thrown off eventually. And by eventually, I mean after about a month.

Mettaton was strapped down in star formation on a table in the basement lab. Alphys always took that precaution, just to ensure that she kept Mettaton in one place. He liked to move around every now and then.

"So, darling," Mettaton said, trying to start a conversation, "do you have any plans tonight? It _is_ a Friday night, after all."

Alphys had hoped she wouldn't have to mention this. But, it seemed that she would have to. "I-I'm, uh, g-going out with U-Undyne on a real d-date for o-once" she explained.

"Darling, you live together. You sleep in the same bed together. And you're just now going out on a date?" Mettaton asked. "Y-yes. W-we're going out t-to dinner and then going t-to a movie premiere. It's a h-human date classic, a-apparently," Alphys explained.

Mettaton raised an eyebrow. "Where are you eating at and what are you watching?" he inquired. "W-we're eating at th-this place that F-F-Frisk recommended, T-Trip's. And th-then we're gonna g-go see the midnight sh-showing of the v-very first M-Mew Mew Kissy C-Cutie movie. I've w-watched the trailer a few t-times, it looks promising," Alphys said, not intending to spout her opinion.

She wiped her sweaty forehead with the back of her mess-covered hand, an act that smeared oil across her forehead. But she didn't quite notice as she grabbed a wrench from her toolbox and kept working. Mettaton snickered, but he wasn't heard. So he went on with his pressing.

"And what are you wearing to this event?" he asked. "J-just that red d-dress I have with th-the white spots," Alphys said. "Alright. Tell you what, I'll help you with your makeup. Hm...a little shimmering lip gloss would look nice, and I have several shades and colors of eye shadow, one of which would match your complexion perfectly!" Mettaton mused aloud. And knowing him, that was probably only the beginning.

Alphys shook her head. "I'm j-just going to w-wear what I wear o-on a daily b-basis. It's our f-first date, and admittedly...I-I've never been on a d-date, beyond that p-pretend one I had w-with Frisk. I d-don't want to o-overdo it," she defended.

If not for his wrists being strapped to the lab table, he would've crossed his arms to match the stern expression on his silver face. "You can never overdo beauty. And besides, I want to be at your side to critique," he insisted.

"P-pardon me?" Alphys asked.

"I'm going to chaperone your date, of course! First dates can be rough, especially for someone like you, darling. I'll be there to move things along if they are to get rocky," Mettaton elaborated.

Alphys shook her head once more. She shut the panel on the area where she was working and screwed it shut. "N-no, no, _no._ You're n-not coming on my d-date. And besides, wh-what do you know about d-dating?" she asked. "Enough to know that your silly dating simulators are about a thousand percent inaccurate to the real thing," Mettaton retorted.

"Wh-what about Undyne? If e-even I'm telling you n-not to come, th-then you know she'll be f-furious," Alphys reasoned. But, Mettaton had the perfect response right away. "Then she can kiss my shiny, metal butt!" he insisted. He sat up after his restraints were released and left.

As Alphys went upstairs to shower, one thing was certain.

And that was that she wasn't getting out of this.

 *****Being really honest, when this idea came wasn't the first time that I've thought of what it would be like if Mettaton decided to come along on Alphys and Undyne's dates. Anyways, be sure to leave a review on the way out, and I'll see you all in the next one! Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

*****Hello, and I'm back with another chapter of this. This was honestly a spur-of-the-moment idea, so we're gonna all see how this goes on together. Anyways, Alphys, Undyne, and Mettaton belong to Toby Fox, the story plot belongs to me, and let's get down to it!**

 **Chapter Two: Seriously?**

Needless to say, Undyne was not amused.

"You're kidding me, right?" she asked. She had just stepped out of the shower when she was joined so she was still wrapped in a towel with her hair soaked. "I-I wish I w-was," Alphys sighed.

"So on our date, not to mention that it's our very first date, we're going to have Mettaton as a third wheel?" Undyne summarized. "S-sadly. I'll try t-to keep him u-under control, d-don't worry," Alphys promised. Undyne rubbed her face in exasperation. "Thanks," she said. She bent down and gave Alphys a kiss, making the small dinosaur grin.

"Alright, now, go take a shower, unless you wanna go covered in oil or whatever that is. I know that you're really self-conscious about your appearance-which you shouldn't be, because you're so beautiful," Undyne said.

"Th-thank you, b-but I know you're lying to s-spare my f-feelings," Alphys replied. Then, before she could be spoken to, she went into the bathroom and shut the door. The shower water was heard turning on.

Undyne sighed. _I'll talk to her about it later,_ she thought, putting on her eyepatch.

XxX

Some time passed. While Undyne was getting ready, Mettaton had decided to help Alphys do the same in a separate room. His strategy to keep her in place was to sit her down and then sit on her lap so that she couldn't leave.

"Y-you're straddling m-me..." Alphys had pointed out awkwardly. "Oh, darling don't think of it like that. Think of it like...forced assistance. Now, let's see here. I brought my makeup bag, what would you like me to do first?" Mettaton asked.

"I'd l-like you to g-get off of m-me so I can p-put on m-my dress and p-put on my mascara, which has b-been the only bit of m-makeup that's worked for me f-for years now," Alphys insisted.

Mettaton's expression went flat. He dug around in his bag and eventually pulled something out. "Then lip gloss it is!" he decided. "O-oh my God," Alphys muttered, clearly defeated. Mettaton smiled.

"Pucker up, darling, let's get rolling!"

XxX

Mettaton had certainly made his mark. "Okay, take a look," he permitted, producing a hand mirror from his bag. Alphys examined her reflection. To her surprise, she didn't look half-bad.

Her usual mascara had been added onto with subtle eye shadow and eyeliner. Her cheeks were dusted with blushed that would hopefully cover up any sort of actual blushing. Her lip gloss, while transparent, was still evident with the little bit of shimmer. "Th-this looks good," was her remark.

"No need to thank me. Now, go get dressed," Mettaton ushered. Alphys went off to her bedroom. Undyne was sitting on the bed, fully dressed and ready to go. She wore her usual outfit for dates. When she caught sight of her girlfriend, her remaining eye widened. "Holy crap, you...you look amazing!" she exclaimed.

Alphys smiled timidly. "Th-thank you. C-can you, uh, n-not look while I p-put on m-my dress?" she asked. "Say no more," Undyne said. Then, she moved her eye patch to where it covered her working eye. Alphys dropped her bath robe and quickly changed into her normal dress for dates. Doing so only took a few minutes.

"O-okay, y-you can look now," she permitted. Undyne adjusted her eye patch once more. "Now you're all ready to go, eh?" she said. "Y-yeah," Alphys said.

She went over and picked up her cell phone from the nightstand. "We p-probably should get g-going. I, uh, d-don't want us to miss th-the r-r-reservation," she said. "Same here," Undyne agreed.

So, they both left their room.

XxX

Mettaton was sitting on the couch, watching mindless TV. Until he was joined. "Oh, are we going now?" he asked.

"Me and Alphie are going. You invited yourself," Undyne said. "Suck it up, I'm your trusty chaperone. So off we go," Mettaton said. "U-Undyne, it's inevitable, l-let's just l-let him come," Alphys sighed. "Fine," Undyne reluctantly agreed.

And so, they all left the house.

 *****I know things haven't really picked up yet, but they will in the next chapter. I know enough to know that. Anyways, be sure to leave a review on the way out, and I'll see you all in the next one! Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

*****This chapter is where things pick up some more, and I hope you'll find it as entertaining as I did while I was writing it. Alphys, Undyne, and Mettaton belong to Toby, Justin and Maddie belong to me, and let's get down to business! (To defeat the Huns...)**

 **Chapter Three: At Dinner**

Undyne's grip on the steering wheel was tight as she attempted to keep herself from lashing out at Mettaton's yammering. If she hadn't been the one driving, she would've already attacked him at least five times. That was one of the reasons Alphys had been glad the Undyne volunteered and that she was sitting in the shotgun seat, not Mettaton.

After thirty long minutes, they reached the restaurant. "This is the place," Undyne said, taking the keys and of the ignition and cramming them into her pocket. So, they all three got out of the car.

"Th-this is a lot f-fancier than what F-Frisk d-d-described," Alphys remarked. "It is a nice venue," Mettaton said. "C'mon, you guys," Undyne said. She took Alphys' hand in hers. Mettaton followed the both of them closely behind.

They all went up to the hostess at her stand. "Hello, how many in your party?" the hostess asked. "I made a reservation. Under the name Undying," Undyne said. The hostess typed at her computer for a few moments. "There it is. Undying, party of two," she read off from the screen. "It's three now," Mettaton interfered.

The hostess looked at him and gasped. "Oh my God," she said. "I-I was afraid of th-this," Alphys sighed. "Who do I make it out to?" Mettaton asked upon taking the pen and paper that had been given to him. "Maddie. Thank you so much," Maddie said. Mettaton nodded and scribbled at the paper. "Here you go. Now, to our table," Mettaton said.

"Yes," Maddie said. She grabbed three menus and lead the way to a table for two. "I'm sorry about a missing chair," she apologized. "It's fine," Mettaton assured. He took a chair from a vacant table and put it at the correct table, sitting down. Alphys and Undyne sat down as well. "A server will be with you shortly," Maddie said. Then, she left, a little more spring in her step as she did so.

"I-I know you're f-famous, b-but can you, uh, n-not sign an a-autograph for every other p-person we c-come across it we're s-sticking together?" Alphys asked. "Fine," Mettaton sighed. It was then that a waiter came by. "Hello, my name is Justin, and I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you guys off with something to drink?" Justin asked. Undyne opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off.

"Margaritas all around! These two are on their first date! Bet you haven't seen a femslash monster couple yet, have you?" Mettaton asked. "No, I haven't. But I have to ask, how old are you?" Justin asked. "T-twenty-six, darling," Mettaton said. Justin looked at Alphys and Undyne. "Is he?" he asked. "Y-yeah. I b-built him to be the s-same age as m-me. And I'm t-twenty-six," Alphys explained.

Technically, Mettaton had been built three years in the past, but Alphys had decide not to mention it.

"Okay, just wanted to make sure. Three celebratory margaritas, coming right up," Justin said. And, he left. Undyne looked annoyed. Alphys already had her head down on the table. "What the heck, you bucket of bolts?! I don't drink, and neither does Alphie!" Undyne exclaimed.

"That's because you're both lightweights~" Mettaton said. Undyne raised an eyebrow. "Are you challenging me?" she asked. Alphys sat back up. "N-no, it's just r-reverse psy-psychology, we can o-order different d-drinks. His alcohol t-tolerance is _really h-high._ He's a r-robot! I don't want you t-to get drunk," Alphys said.

"You're just a lightweight, you're just a lightweight," Mettaton teased in a sing-song tone of voice. It was then that Justin came back. "Alright, here are your drinks," he said, placing three margaritas on the table. Everyone place their food orders. After Justin left, Undyne turned to Mettaton.

"P-please, don't," Alphys. But, it was too late. "First one to get tipsy loses," Mettaton said. "Challenge accepted," Undyne said.

Alphys put her head down on the table once again.

XxX

As the dinner went on, Undyne and Mettaton kept drinking glass after glass. Alphys had long since ordered a soda as she watched her girlfriend and best friend go at it. When they both showed the slightest signs of being drunk, that was it. Alphys grabbed both of their drinks and held onto them.

"No more m-margaritas. I d-don't want either of you to g-get d-drunks," she insisted. "Fine. Let's call it a draw," Mettaton sighed. "Fine," Undyne caved reluctantly.

It was then that Justin came back. "Can I get you guys anything else?" he asked. "A ch-check. And t-take these away before th-they go too f-far," Alphys requested, handing over both margarita glasses.

"Yes ma'am, yes' ma'am," Justin complied. So, he took the glasses and left.

XxX

Alphys had taken the car keys from Undyne's pocket right as the drinking competition had begun. Mettaton still sat in the back, Undyne sat in the shotgun seat, and Alphys was the one driving.

"T-to the movie th-theater," she said. "I'm gonna be feeling this in the morning," Undyne said to herself. "Me too," Mettaton agreed. Alphys only sighed as she drove down the road.

 *****So that would be another chapter. I'll get to the second half of the date in the next chapter. And back when they were talking about ages, I headcannon that Undyne is two years older than Alphys. Whatever. Anyways, be sure to leave a review on the way out, and I'll see you all in the next one! Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4

*****As mentioned in the upload right before this one in another story, this is going to be the last upload of this story for about two weeks. Still, whatever, I'm moving along to the next half of this date. Alphys, Undyne, and Mettaton belong to Toby Fox, the story plot belongs to me, and let's get rolling!**

 **Chapter Four: The Movie Theater**

Alphys parked the car in a pretty good space in the movie theater parking lot. "C-come on, you g-guys," she said. She was still slightly miffed from earlier. Undyne and Mettaton and regained most of their senses. They all three got out of the car.

"Alphie?" Undyne asked. "Y-yes?" Alphys said. Undyne knelt down next to her. "I'm sorry that I went so overboard at dinner. Mettaton presented a challenge, I took it. I'll try not to let _him_ ruin the rest of the night," she said. "Th-thank you," Alphys said. Undyne kissed her cheek.

"Now, don't make out like this in the middle of the theater. You two are only the first date, after all," Mettaton said. Undyne growled, but otherwise said nothing as she stood back up. "L-let's just go," Alphys sighed.

So, they went towards the theater.

XxX

Another problem arose shortly. The line to get tickets to anything was a mile and a half long. "Oh my God, are you kidding me?" Undyne muttered, brushing her hair a little out of her face. "D-don't get upset," Alphys said.

"Step aside, darlings~" Mettaton said. He straightened himself up a little and tapped on the shoulder of the person in front of him. "N-no," Alphys replied, shaking her head.

The person in front of them turned around. He couldn't have been older than a college student. "Hey, you're Mettaton! I love your songs, man!" he said. "Thank you. I'll give you an autograph under one condition that you let myself and my lovely friends on their first date cut in front of you," Mettaton offered. "Deal! How about right on my shirt back here?" the man asked. So, Mettaton signed the autograph, moving himself, Alphys, and Undyne all up a spot in the line.

This process repeated itself. Mettaton sighed just about anything people asked him to do, hugged them, and had even wound up kissing two girls by the time he'd gotten to the front of the line. At the end, Alphys' face was the same color as her girlfriend's ponytail. Undyne's fist was clenched so tightly that her knuckles were turning a pastel-blue shade. Instead of Mettaton asking for the tickets, he was pushed to the side.

"Three for The Mew Mew Kissy Cutie Movie," Undyne said, already getting out her wallet to pay. The lady at the window found the tickets. "Thirty dollars, miss," she said. Undyne gave the thirty dollars over and grabbed the tickets. "Let's go before Mettaton kisses anyone else," she said. Alphys followed at her heels.

Mettaton was shortly behind them. "Are we really going to see _that_ movie?" he whined. Undyne turned to him with an annoyed expression and crossed arms. "You could always go home," she said. "Well, fine. I'll watch your cartoons," Mettaton caved. "Th-thank you," Alphys said.

Luckily, getting snacks for the show involved nothing embarrassing. The three got to the correct theater just as easily. Alphys made sure that she was in the middle of Undyne and Mettaton to at least try to ensure that no arguments broke out. Alphys put her head on Undyne's shoulder and got a strong arm around her shoulders and a kiss on her head.

"Don't make out, now~" Mettaton reminded. "Shut up," Undyne snapped. "P-please?" Alphys added meekly. Mettaton smiled suggestively and turned his attention back to the screen.

Alphys and Undyne decided to do the same.

XxX

The movie was about halfway through. Alphys hadn't moved her eyes from the screen for the entire time. So Undyne just kept the popcorn they'd intended to share for herself. Every now and then, she would spare a glance to look at Mettaton's reactions to things. How utterly confused he was made for a show on its own. Until he finally sighed and took out his phone.

Undyne reached across and grabbed his phone. "Don't even," she snapped in a whisper. "Give it back," Mettaton said. "No. I don't care if you like the movie or not, you're not on your phone. For Alphie's sake," Undyne insisted, maintain her volume at a low somehow. Mettaton frowned. He reached across and grabbed Undyne's eyepatch, ripping it away. "Hey!" she objected.

"We'll trade. A cell phone for an eyepatch," Mettaton said. "You're kidding me," Undyne sighed. "Not at all," Mettaton said. He leaned forward, holding up the eyepatch. "All it costs it my cell phone, darling~" he taunted.

Now, Undyne's intention was to leaned forward and punch him before taking her eyepatch back. But she didn't quite do that. As the movie had gone on, Alphys had sat upright and had begun leaving forward as she absorbed every second of the movie.

Because it was a quick movie and the alcohol's effects had not yet fully faded, Undyne's fist collided with Alphys' face rather than Mettaton's.

Undyne gasped and immediately pulled her fist back. "A...Alphie?" she asked. "Oh my, and I thought you would never hurt her," Mettaton recalled. "Shut up," Undyne snapped, her voice now much sharper than before.

Alphys simply stood up. "F-fight all you w-want. I'm d-done," she said simply. Then, she left.

Undyne and Mettaton looked at each other, expressions of shock and sadness on their faces. "C'mon. We've gotta go talk to her about this," Undyne decided, standing up. "I'm right behind you," Mettaton said, doing the same.

And, they ran out of the theater.

 *****Yep, I'm leaving you on this one. Anyways, be sure to leave a review on the way out, and I'll see you all in the next one! Bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

*****Hello, everyone out there who is happening to read this. After six hours in the back of a car, I'm finally back in my bedroom, which is amazing for me. Anyways, Undyne, Alphys, and Mettaton all belong to Toby Fox, the story plot belongs to me, and let's get rolling!**

 **Chapter Five: I'm Done With This**

Undyne and Mettaton stepped into the vacant hallway, looking around at the closed doors that lead into the different theaters.

"Where do you think she is?" Undyne asked, looking around. "Probably the bathroom. Let's go, come on," Mettaton said. He went off towards the bathroom. Undyne followed right after him. She didn't care enough to mention that he was male, yet he was going into the girls' bathroom.

Still, they both went into the girls' bathroom.

"Alphie? You in here?" Undyne called out. "It's just us. We'd like to talk to you about...our behavior, darling," Mettaton added on. The door to the biggest stall opened, but no one came out. "C-c-come in," came Alphys' small voice. Undyne ran faster to the stall than Mettaton, who was the one who shut and looked the door behind them both.

Alphys was sitting on the toilet, her hands folded in her lap. Her cheeks was beginning to bruise from where she'd been hit, and her makeup had run down her face from where she'd been sitting and crying. Undyne sat down on her knees with open arms. "C'mere," she said. Alphys looked down into her hands. "C-can you not hit m-me or M-Mettaton" she asked. Undyne felt the guilt of her action brush over her. "I won't. Come over here," she said.

She wrapped her arms around Alphys, rubbing her back gently and pressing kisses to the top of her head. Mettaton sat down cross-legged with the two. "It seems that we've made a mess of this night, haven't we?" he asked. "I-if you would have b-both gotten a-a-along, then we w-wouldn't be in a b-bathroom stall," Alphys replied. "And if you, Mettaton, would've stayed home, then we'd probably not have had a drinking competition and nothing would've been taken and the innocent one wouldn't have been hit," Undyne accused.

Mettaton brushed some of his hair out of his eyes with a sigh. "You and I are both at fault here. It's not just one person. Let's just kiss and make up. Trade our things back as well," he said.

"Gotcha. Here," Undyne complied, sparing a hand from Alphys to hand over Mettaton's cell phone. "Enjoy. I think it vibrated anyways," she said. Mettaton checked it. "Oh, it did. Here, I think this patch is really sweaty, to be honest," he said. Undyne put her eye patch back on. "Well, it's none of your business, so shut up," she replied. Mettaton could only smile, amused.

He stood up. "Let's just go home," he said. "Alphie, you wanna go back and catch the rest of the movie?" Undyne asked. "N-no. I'm going t-to buy it on D-DVD, a-anyways," Alphys said, standing up. Undyne did the same. "Yeah. And I don't wanna pay sixty bucks for this movie. At home, we can watch it in pajamas with all of the food we want for free," she added on.

Alphys nodded. "Th-that sounds fun," she agreed. "We're very sorry about how we've made a mess of your night, darling," Mettaton apologized. "Yeah," Undyne agreed. "I f-forgive you," Alphys said. Undyne bent over and kissed her girlfriend for a solid five seconds before standing back up.

"Don't make out in a bathroom stall. Let's go home if you want to do that kind of thing," Mettaton said. They all started to leave the bathroom and head out of the theater.

"And, M-Mettaton?" Alphys said as they all got into the car, looking to her backseat best friend. "Yes, darling?" Mettaton asked.

Undyne couldn't hide her smile as she heard Alphys say, "Y-you're never going on o-one of out d-dates...e-ever again."

 **The End**

 *****And, that would be that. Just a short idea I thought I'd show you all who stumble across my stuff. Anyways, be sure to leave a review on the way out, and I'll see you all in the next one! Bye!**


End file.
